Who’s made a mistake in their life?

Raise your hands or say “Me!” Come on, who here has made a mistake in your life? Admit it, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Ok, those of you who just raised their hand or said “I have” are lying through their teeth. If you expect me to believe that you’ve made only one mistake in your life, you must think I’m dumber than I am. Then there’s those of you who would like the rest of us to believe that you’ve never made a mistake in your life. Yeah, right, and my ball hair looks like Elvis….which it doesn’t. It’s bullshit, we all constantly make mistakes, big ones, little ones, life altering ones, etc etc.

Of course, the word “mistake” might not be a strong enough word, because when you think of someone making a “mistake” you probably think of some kind of arithmetic error on their test or bought the wrong kind of shampoo or soap. Those mistakes, no one really cares about. They’re not life altering (unless you pick up soap that you’re allergic to and die…that’s kinda life altering), they don’t cause any serious harm to yourself or others, and they’re generally something you shrug off and might be something easily fixed. It might take a few extra moments or so, but in the end, it means jack shit in the grand scheme of life.

Where am I going with this? I’m really not too sure, I’ve lost my train of thought once again. So, I’ll just keep typing until I feel I’m done or until I feel like I’ve said what I’ve needed to say. Don’t judge me, dammit.

I certainly know I’ve made my fair share of really stupid mistakes in life. Not just those minor little trivial mistakes. Oh, no. I’ve fucked up completely on dozens upon dozens of occasions. I tend not to think things through before I do them. Been that way for as long as I can remember, probably even before then, too. To make matters worse, I can be a bit of a hothead, flying off the handle when I get frustrated, and I get frustrated quite easily.

Ever wish you could go back and do something over again that you screwed up? Un-cheat on your boyfriend or your girlfriend? Decide to not have those drinks before you got into a car? Realize that maybe you should have gone ahead and gotten a college degree? Un-say hurtful things to someone you care about that you never meant to say, that you never actually felt? I certainly wish I had the ability to go back and stop myself from making those kinds of mistakes. Only one difference between me and most of you.

There’s only one thing I’d change. Out of the dozens of things I’ve done in my life that I’m ashamed of. Of all those things I should never have done or said, there’s only one thing I would un-do. Believe it or not, that is the truth of the matter. Mainly because that one mistake would probably erase the second one I ended up making about 5 months later. Two of the worst mistakes of my life, which I may or may not be able to work through and make up for. I’m not a selfish person in this regard, all I want to be able to do is break the laws of physics and travel back in time. You know, something small.

Or, at the very least, have Scott Bakula leap into my body and make things all better like he used to do back in the day. C’mon, you know what I’m talking about. Quantum Leap anyone?

So, yeah, I think that’s it. We all have things we’ve done we’re not proud of, or ashamed of, and many of us would change what we’ve done. As I said, I’d change only one thing. But, seeing as the chances of someone building a time machine in my lifetime are pretty slim-to-none, I’ll be living life like the rest of you poor souls: hoping for yet another chance to make up for our mistakes.

Oh no, storms coming our way!

Did you hear?! Storms will be hitting the coastline of the United States! How do I know this? Is it because that’s what happens every year with increasing frequency and intensity? No, that can’t be it. It must be because God told Pat Robertson said weather predictions! Hell, we may even get blessed with a tsunami! Or not, it depends, apparently God wasn’t too clear about that part.

All I can say is “No shit.” The past two years have seen more and more deadly storms, so it’s not like it’s some kind of shocker to think that it’ll happen again this year. The fact that this even made the news on MSNBC.com just goes to show you that there is nothing in this world that will not be published as news.

This new revelation is like saying there will be thunderstorms in the Tampa area during the summer months and expecting that to be some kind of wake-up call. Hell, my left testicle could have come up with Robertson’s brilliant inside-information-from-God on its own. This guy has a few screws loose, and I’m willing to bet he was doing something other than just praying during his retreat when this revelation came to him.

Next thing you know, we’re going to be told this planet isn’t the center of the galaxy! People these days…

I hate technology with a passion

So, I realize I’m out of blank DVD-Rs the other day. Well, now that I’m “home” (I don’t feel comfortable to referring to place as “home”, hence the quotation marks around the word home), I have access to a vehicle so I can get from point A to point B without having to turn tricks for a ride. So, I decide to hop into my vehicle to go for a little ride down to Best Buy (this is what sucks about living out here in California, everything seems so fucking spread out, it’s not even funny) while watching the money leave my bank account as I start thinking about having to fill the beast up with gas. Anyway, I buy myself some blank DVD-Rs, the brand I usually buy, and all is right with the world…well, the whole I-now-have-blank-DVDs part of my world. Well, I thought all was right with the world, until I go to use on these things I just bought.

I begin to notice a strange thing while I was sitting there playing Ace Combat Zero for the PS2 (like that shameless plug) waiting for the burn process to be complete like you sit in the mall waiting for your girlfriend to find the right dress. As close to forever as you possibly can get. It was taking an unusually long period of time. And I get concerned. Very concerned. Once the process finally completed (the same sigh of relief one gets when you finally buy that dress for your girlfriend she finally she picked out and you realize you still have money in the bank), the disc pops out of the computer, and I pop it right back in, sloppy seconds styles. Strange noises and….nothing. At this point, I get this thought that went something like “oh, fuuuuuuck no, you better not be fucking doing what I think you’re doing.” Turns out, I still have a reason to abhor my life.

Realizing that nothing was actually done to the disc, I realize that these blank DVD-Rs are “new” versions of what I normally buy, and they are not compatible with my piece-o’-shit burner that’s only about 13 months old. What does this mean? It means that the one brand that seemed to be working perfectly with my burner no longer works. I think I’m still being punished.

After countless hours of internet searches, pouring through countless forum posts in countless forums, I come to the conclusion that the best way to proceed will be to find a firmware upgrade for my burner. Well, that’s when the cursing and feeling the urge to throw my DVD burner across the room overtook me. It’s been quite some time since I dropped that many f-bombs in such a short period of time.

Turns out that the company that built this DVD drive doesn’t really offer any kind of support. At the very least, it doesn’t even mention this model on its web site! Oh, the joy. It also turns out that the only firmware upgrade doesn’t seem to be enough! Fucking spectacular! It also appears that manufacturers don’t actually support these slim drives built for laptops! Fuck me, good thing I found out about that after the fact!

So, where am I going with this? These fucking companies can’t seem to fucking get their heads out of their asses. Why the fuck shouldn’t certain blank DVDs work with certain DVD burners? Makes no fucking sense why this fucking industry would tie your hands like this. Wait, no, it makes perfect sense: They want to squeeze every god damned dollar they can out of your wallet. They’re greedy fuckers, like the various companies within the music and movie industries. They don’t give a shit if their products cease to function in a proper manner once they have your money. I mean, c’mon, does it really make any sense that something built a year ago could possibly be compatible with something built a year later? Of course not, that would require common sense and logic.

Now I’m at somewhat of an impasse. Why? Because it absolutely drives me nuts when I have a technical/computer issue that can’t seem to be fixed, other than some other not-so-lovely options. For instance, I could bitch and moan until Gateway gives me a new DVD burner that doesn’t act like a Californian driver: retarded. Or I could buy a new internal DVD burner, hoping I won’t have the same issue. Or I could buy an external burner that would actually have some semblance of technical support for it. Either way, it’s going to give me a head ache, chest pains, and put me in an overall worse mood than I’ve already been since I’ve been back.

Myspace sucks, and how to beat the addiction

You heard, or rather read, what I just said. Myspace sucks. It’s horrible. It shouldn’t be used to the extent people are using it. It’s like it’s better than real life or something. More and more often, I hear people talking about their Myspace. Out in public. And those are people I feel like punching in the back of the head, and when they fall to the ground, stand over them and spit in their face. Of course, I may be somewhat of a hypocrite, seeing as I have an account myself. But, you will not hear me talking about my Myspace or what’s on some other person’s Myspace. It seems to be the latest pickup line: are you on Myspace?

I hate Myspace. I hate it with every ounce of my being. Yet, I still use it. Surprises even me, to tell you the truth. It has caused me nothing but trouble, for the most part. Not “trouble” like legal issues or anything like that, but because of Myspace, I keep managing to fuck myself over and over and over in my personal life. Without Myspace, maybe my life would be a little sweeter tasting, rather than this bitter taste that’s still in my mouth. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made a few decent-to-good friends because of it, but other than that, it’s done nothing other than allowing me to “keep in touch” with some people. Fuck that, Myspace is an extension of what is bad inside me, and probably inside of all of you.

The one-of-two things that truly pisses me off about Myspace: it’s constantly having issues. It’s ridiculous how often something breaksdown for that site. Always some kind of server issues to have to deal with. Shit always not loading or loading for next to forever. With the millions upon millions of people who are on there constantly, you’d think that they’d generate enough funds with the billions of ads (or start charging in some way or another: “premium” accounts maybe?) to buy better servers that aren’t constantly farting out. Or hire enough people to make sure shit is running smoothly. Granted, it’s a lot better than it’s ever been (since I was dragged on there, anyway), but it still has many problems constantly popping up. Of course, you know what they blame it all on? People using scripts in their profiles that fuck up the servers. Eh, if that’s their story…

Of course, here’s the number one reason why Myspace is shitty: the sluts. Not even just the girl sluts (even though they make up the majority of all sluts), but the guys, too. Too all these guys who feel the need to take off their shirts for their pictures they have on Myspace: we get it, you have muscles. You like to work out and you like to talk supplements. Congratulations, you can work construction when you grow up. If I wanted to see man-titties, I’d watch male modeling shows. Any girl that’s going to go for that probably is a slut herself, and has more STDs than the CDC currently has in its laboratories for testing.

Don’t think I forgot about you, sluts. All the tit shots, flashing side-boob, maybe the always-popular hald-bent-over-in-your-thong picture, or possibly shirtless, holding your tits like a Girls Gone Wild wannabe slut, or the cleavage shots. The sad thing is, most of these girls are underage (or their in college, where the inner-slut can flourish) and try to make themselves appealing to the older guys, hoping to get used and taken advantage. I’ve never been able to understand how parents can allow their daughters to act/dress like this. Never mind not being able to figure out what their “innocent” little girl is doing on the computer (let’s face it, the average parent couldn’t even turn on a computer without the help of their kids), how the hell can you even allow your daughters to own that kind of clothes? If I ever have a daughter, she is never seeing the light of day, and will spend her entire life in a nunnery. Why? Because I know exactly what every guy wants out of a girl, no matter how nice the guy may be. It’s all about the sex, and girls give us the eye candy and dress as slutty as possible. Don’t believe me? Get yourself into tours of college campuses with the high schoolers. My favorite thing about school is going out and watching these high school sluts with their parents, touring the school. The fact that a junior or senior in high school is allowed outside in a mini-skirt (I pray for strong gusts of wind) hanging off their ass and hips, about 12 inches of belly showing, and shirts so small I can see every intimate detail of that girl’s mammary glands is beyond reprehensible. The sad thing is, those girls are always with their moms. Why? Because no dad with half-a-brain is going to allow their daughter to dress like that in their presence. Why? Because dad’s know.

Anyway, back on topic: Myspace sluts. Is it any wonder sexual predators use Myspace to pick out and contact potential victims? Even though females are supposed to mature much sooner and quicker than males, they are still as stupid as a cardboard box. They’ll believe anything, especially over the internet, if a guy is a sweet-talker (even if he’s truly a scumbag). And to think some people don’t get the whole “slutspace” joke (which, by the way, is a web site I’d like to setup, in case you’re wondering). What’s even worse, there are plenty of females on Myspace (I say “females” because you can’t say “women” while also meaning high schoolers, they’re still girls, so “females” is all encompassing) who know this, but don’t care. Which is why Girls Gone Wild can keep getting the new “material” on a regular basis (by the Way, GGW is quite possibly the greatest idea ever, that guy who came up with it is my personal hero).

Myspace is truly the garbage heap of humanity. People would rather meet other people on there rather than meet people in real life (those on-line dating services sure prove that….it’s my belief that you are a loser if you use an online dating service…don’t you have friends who have/know of hot people they can hook you up with?) and that’s really sad. Don’t get me wrong, when I signed up (after being poked and prodded into doing so) it was because I wanted to. But, not too long after…well, maybe long after, it turned into my nemesis. It allowed me to “voice” dark thoughts and ventings that were just frustrations boiling that should never bee heard by human ears or seen by human eyes, and it’s landed me into a whole new world of hurt. It truly screws things up, I tell you. You’re better off IM’ing your friends or calling them or *gasp* visiting them!

Which brings me to this: how to beat the Myspace addiction. This lovely little site was on my Google homepage, and I thought it was great and I’m sharing it with you: How to Defeat a Myspace Addiction

If you feel you rely on Myspace too much, or that you visit your page too often, read it, and see if it helps. Just remember: Myspace sucks.

WWJDD? Would he boo at himself, too?

As some may or may not know (you’d probably know if you were a big enough baseball fan…you’d definitely know if you were a Red Sox fan…or a Yankee fan), Johnny Damon played his first game in Fenway Park (Boston for you people who have no clue) since he signed as a free agent with the Yankees. Apparently, there had been a lot of “hype” leading up to his return to the city that used to love his idiocy unconditionally. There have been plenty of people giving their two cents on how the Fenway Faithful would react to him and how they should react to him.

For some insane reason, Johnny Damon expected people to look past the fact that he left Boston and immediately went New York for more money and just remember what he helped to do in Boston for the years he was there. Right, if we can’t forgive, we just forget? A little life lesson in all of this: you wound people deep enough, they may never forgive you. Hell, I’ve recently learned that lesson, and I’m only 23 (technically, I learned it a long time ago, but it takes a few trials and errors for me to get it through my thick skull). Yeah, Damon made did some amazing things for the Red Sox, who wouldn’t have won that World Series without his help, among other things.

But, we have to look at last season, when he was in the last year of his contract with the Red Sox. Exactly one year to the day last year, Damon had this to say:

“There’s no way I can go play for the Yankees, but I know they are going to come after me hard,” Damon said. “It’s definitely not the most important thing to go out there for the top dollar, which the Yankees are going to offer me. It’s not what I need.”

For him, top dollar wasn’t the “most important thing” to get him settled in another city, or to stay in Boston. The moment he said that, I knew he was going to be a Yankee at the end of the season. He is one of the stereotypical professional athletes. It’s a business these days. There’s no such thing as loyalty between teams and their players. A $12 million difference is apparently enough for JD to throw away his “convictions.” It’s sad, really, that $49 million means you live a more comfortable life than $37 million. I mean, at what point does another million become meaningless? $50 million? $100 million? Maybe $1 billion?

Of course, his story now is there was too much turmoil in the Red Sox front office. And he didn’t feel the Red Sox wanted him back. Probably bull shit. As for the first excuse I listed, well, that’s all it is, is an excuse. His eyes lit up at the prospect of signing a contract worth $49 million, and he’s greedy enough to take the bait. Loyalty to teams and cities and the fans is a dying, if not already dead, trait amongst athletes. Virtually every professional athlete will take every single dime they can get, and then some, with no regard to anything else. That’s what makes it just a little tough to be angry at this guy. In a way, I feel sorry that they’re no different than some corporate shark, and that a game comes down to boardroom decisions. It’s very, very, very rare to see a guy take less money to stay with a team that he started his career with or became a superstar with or just broke out as an all-around good player making a name for himself.

So, back to the first regular season game between the BoSox and the Yanks and JD’s return to Fenway. He got booed, obviously, and there was some cheering, which isn’t that much of a surprise. If there are people still cheering for that self-centered prick Barry Bonds, there will always be cheering no matter what. People came up with their own little phrases to jeer him with. My favorite: “Johnny Cash.” It’s fitting, just like the people who threw money at him in centerfield. JD said his wife wouldn’t be attending because of certain problems that may arise. Well, that’s the bed you made, buddy, can’t really feel sorry for you. You wish Boston would still love you, you’ve even taken out full-page ads in the local papers trying to mend fences. You really are an idiot. You’re one hell of a ball player, you did what most in the business do, people hate you now, but you’re still the same idiot.

And that’s why I feel sorry for you.