Burning of the flag

Am I the only one who seems to find it somewhat ironic that people are so up in arms in this country about the burning of the American flag, wanting a Constitutional amendment passed to protect the flag from pyros despite the fact that the average flag in the stores these days is made in China? If we really wanted to save the flag, how about we start by making sure it’s made in this country, not some country run by communists (I throw that out there because that’s another thing people are afraid of: communism…despite the fact that it really hasn’t worked all that well) who quell freedoms we, as Americans enjoy.

You know, I’m sorry, but there are more important things and pressing matters to deal with than whether or not it’s illegal to burn something we import. I’m not even on the bandwagon “It’s expressing your freedom of speech, which is already protected under the Bill of Rights” or something similar. It’s just that I see other things as being bigger symbols of this country, especially since I have yet to find a flag (not that I’ve been looking all that hard) made in this country. Hypocrites, all of you who seem to feel that this is the most important issue this country needs to be facing.

Let’s not pay attention to the little things like Iraq, Iran (damned alphabet, always one letter off….), North Korea, gas prices (is it really that hard to push for the use and research of alternative fuels?), global warming (assuming you believe in it), terrorism in general and about a dozen other things.

This whole flag burning amendment is nothing more than people in Congress clamoring for votes. Now, these old farts trying to get re-elected are hoping people will forget their ties with one of those guys who did bad/illegal things, and they just want to be able to say “See! I fought for American values, principles, bullshit, etc.!” It’s sickening, really, that these tainted windbags won’t focus on the important things, just the things that they think will score them points back home in their district.

Not the most important issue this country needs to face, sorry.

Symbol of America
Made in China

The verdict is in

After a couple of years of deliberation….well, not really, I took about 95% of the time off and played hooky from the jury room….I’ve come to a decision about something, and someone, in my life. The verdict: I won’t forgive.

This is probably the first time I’ve ever said…or “said”… that I don’t, or won’t, forgive someone, or something. I’m generally pretty lenient about that sort of thing. I mean, c’mon, I’m a Red Sox fan. I’ve had my heart broken by those bastards on dozens, if not hundreds, of occasions, including many postseasons, and come spring, I’ve decided to give them yet another chance.

This time, however, is different. This time is much more serious than that. Sort of…depending on how you look at it. This instance, I feel is one of the very few times where I can’t say “it’s ok” and not be lying through my teeth. Every man has his limits, every man has a limited amount of tolerance for certain things and we’ve reached that point now.

I’ve never understood many things about people. Like why do Californians drive straight through stop signs only when you’re about 20 feet away doing 55. Or why Floridians can’t figure out how to vote (let’s face it, they all just felt guilty about who they voted for, so they cried foul and claimed the ballots were confusing). Or why people buy into a politician’s lies. Or, in this case….somewhat, why people say one thing, but end up doing another. Especially when that something is what happened in this case.

I really don’t feel like going into it, seeing as I’ve gone into it hundreds, if not thousands, of times. Reader’s Digest for ADD Patients version: girl and I together; girl met other guy; girl never told me; girl pulled disappearing act; I never knew for 2 years. Basically, I was left to my own imagination to figure out what exactly was going on. And anyone who knows me knows that leaving things to my imagination can be a dangerous and scary thing to do. So, I spent god knows how many hours and days agonizing over what had happened, the months of worrying, etc blah blah blah. It never had occurred to me, despite some people saying this was most likely the case, that she was a slew and met another guy. Well, good thing I’m not a gambling man, cause, yeah, I was quite far from the truth in this case.

So, I come to find out a little over a year ago, eventually, that the slew met some new guy to fall in love with and never had the guts to tell me. Go figure. Sadly, I let that news get to me and I was, quite honestly, the most pissed off I’ve ever been in my entire life (that I can remember). The worst part? I was pissed at myself, not even her. How sad is that? Anyway, after a week of that and a wee bit more time of self-pity, I was over it (sort of). I got the closure I needed (I’m big on closure and loose ends and all that crap), so I could “move on.” Pathetic, huh?

All had been pretty much forgotten (except those times people had to bring her up), and then, a conversation plus some other recent events kinda got the ol’ gears working on this old issue again and I quickly came to this conclusion: I could never forgive this person for what she’d done. Which is somewhat hypocritical of me, since I’m big on forgiveness, everyone deserves some extra chances, no one is perfect. Hell, I’ve been known to be in situations where I needed to get down on my hands and knees and beg. Sometimes because I’ve done the same thing multiple times (I’m a little slow at times).

But, this time and so far only this time, I’m throwing down the gauntlet. If you don’t have the balls to face the mistakes you’ve made, or the people you’ve hurt (or just face people period), then you deserve no mercy. In my mind, it takes a lot to face someone you’ve wronged and say you’re sorry (not that I ever expected things to get back to the way they were, I never wanted that…heeeeeeeeeell no), and that pretty much wipes the slate clean. Sure, you gotta put in the effort to show you truly are sorry and want to make up for shit, but you know. She couldn’t/can’t do that, so why should I forgive what I’ve been put through if she can’t be bothered to even say one word to me? Screw it, all I ever need is an “I’m sorry for *insert dumb ass thing you did/said here*” and you’re well on your way to redemption.

Nope, not this time. Too late, you’ve lost, I’ve won, and I’m more the bitter for it…so, have I really won? Hmmmm….

The irony of Ann Coulter

I don’t even want to go into the topic of this “woman”, let alone what she said this week about the 9-11 widows/families. Ever wake up from a crazy dream, and the details are all pretty much too fuzzy to understand what the hell you just dreamed about? Yeah, that’s kind of like my reaction to Coulter’s latest boneheaded (for lack of a better word) comments about the widows of 9-11. My take on it: I have no fucking clue what’s going through that monstrosity of a head of hers. I’m assuming you all know what I’m referring to, even if you haven’t seen the Today Show video or read the transcripts. If you don’t, here’s a little “present” for you all: Crazy Bitch I warn you, if you are easily angered, don’t watch this video. It’s so sad, it’s not even funny.

All you have to do is is Google, or Yahoo, “ann coulter widows” and you’ll get plenty of material on this wench’s latest act of idiocy. (FYI I have no words which properly express how I feel about this horrible, horrible person, but I’m doing the best that I can). There’s a group of 9-11 widows from Jersey who had supported an independent commission to look into the foul ups that allowed the 9-11 attacks to be carried out to the degree of success we all witnessed a little less than 5 years ago. Gee, people who have endured pain that the vast majority of us could never comprehend, and hopefully never will, wanting answers? Now, that’s just crazy, left-wing talk with only one purpose: to destroy conservatives…or so Coulter seems to think. These widows are horrible, horrible people because they want to make sure we put in safeguards to prevent another 9-11 and to keep other families from having to go through a pain that can’t be understood by the rest of us. Coulter would have us believe, because she believes, that these women are enjoying the fact that their husbands die in a horrific manner.

“I’ve never seen people enjoying their husbands’ deaths so much.”

Just that one sentence right there is why I think that Coulter is the lowliest form of life on this planet. I dare not even call her a human being. She ranks right up there with Hitler in my book…my book of evil persons.

Which brings me to the title of my ranting: The irony of Ann Coulter. Ann Coulter is a “woman” (I put the quotations around woman because I’m not entirely convinced that this monstrosity is a female) who has a made a name, mostly a bad name, for herself by attacking and bashing the “left” side of this world’s politics; mainly the left side of American politics. Which is ok, she’s basically the Michael Moore of the right, only a lot scarier…and uglier (anyone who thinks that wench is hot needs to have their balls removed). The ironic thing about her is that she has so much contempt for the political ideas that gave her the right to “speak out”, as a woman, and has worked for decades to make it socially acceptable for her ass to be somewhere else other than a kitchen, squeezing children from out between her legs (anyone who would procreate with her should be killed immediately). Liberalism is what gave her a voice in this world, yet, she acts like it should never have existed. And, in her case, I wish it didn’t, so the world wouldn’t have to listen to the hate she spews.

I believe in the right to free speech, but sometimes I wish that it wasn’t so free. She is a hate monger. She does and says nothing to better the world. Everything she says and writes is counterproductive to the growth of humanity. Coulter and her thoughts are a plague on this planet, just like anyone else who preaches hate and intolerance. And that’s what this “woman” does, spew hateful words with no purpose other than to hurt others, like the widows of 9-11. If anything, her comments were an attack on everyone who lost a friend or a family member or a co-worker or general acquaintance in the 9-11 attacks. That’s how I see it and I’m sure that’s how most of the world sees it. What’s so sad is that she can’t see it, she thinks she’s doing the world a favor, that her breathing is god’s gift to the world. Yeah, we all have ego trips now and then, but not too many of us have a trip like she seems to consistently have, and most of us don’t think and say hateful things. Anyone who has ever bought her books: shame on you. Anyone who has ever nodded their head in agreement to what she has said: shame on you, too. I loathe to say things like this, but, I think the world would be a better place without this terrible person.

“We have been slandered. Contrary to Ms. Coulter’s statements, there was no joy in watching men that we loved burn alive. There was no happiness in telling our children that their fathers were never coming home again. We adored these men and miss them every day. – Kristen Breitweiser, Lorie Van Auken, Mindy Kleinberg and Patty Casazza

The 9-11 widows. You have the sane world’s support.

The number one thing I would never do for a woman

Well, I was perusing the news headlines last week, since I was bored as usual, and came across one that was particularly….eye catching, for lack of a better term. Apparently, there was this man (emphasis on was) who decided he was going to prove his faithfulness to his wife. Now, before I go farther into this, I must give you this warning: if you are a male, mentally brace yourself, just like you have to mentally brace yourself for scenes like the one we all winced at in Something About Mary…you know what I’m talking about.

So, this 41 year old “man” in Malaysia decides he needs to prove to his wife one-and-for-all that he is faithful to her. Now, a normal, rational man would spend the countless days, weeks and months and put in endless amounts of effort to change his habits, to show he’s a changed man, that he’s not banging other sluts on the side anymore, that she’s the one and only (or some bullshit like that). Instead, what does he do? He cuts off his penis.

I’ll let that sink in for a moment.

The retard takes a sharp instrument and slices off his dick. I’m sorry man, but you know what, no woman on this planet is worth proving that you’re not sleeping around by cutting off your own dick. If she’s so damned paranoid about it (or if it’s true, and you’re getting some action on the side, and she has a problem with it), then leave the wench. Kick her to curb, pay the child support (if they have such a thing in Malaysia), and go find some other slut (assuming there wasn’t one already) to bone. You cut off your dick, she still might leave you, anyway, and where will that leave you?

I can hear and see it now, the bar scene, some slew trying to pick you up for a one night stand, but you have to say thanks, but no thanks. Why? Because dick doesn’t work anymore. Thanks for the offer, though.

Again, I’m sorry, but women aren’t worth this kind of shit, no matter if you love her or she’s a perfect 10. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and she’ll probably just end up dumping you anyway. And, in this day and age, chances are, she’s boning the pool guy, or the guy who mows your lawn, on the side, while you’re at work.

See, I could never go to that kind of extreme for some chick. I’m not that much of a drama queen. There’s a point where you just throw your hands up in the air and say “Fuck it” and just move on with your life. I mean, c’mon, if they’re married, already have a teenage kid, then chances are, they’re not in love all that much, if at all, and it’s just bullshit he’s going to have to deal with on a regular basis until he dies, or until he gets another wife. I for one would probably just get another wench. A younger one, and tell the ex that, yup, I was boning someone younger and hotter than you behind your back, and guess what? I’m dumping you, and going all out with this new slew.

Don’t cut off your dick, c’mon. That’s just wrong.

How do you get someone off of your mind?

That’s a question I’ve been struggling with since high school. It always seems like there’s always someone, or something, that I’ve got on my mind and I can never seem to stop thinking about them…or it…whichever. As chaotic and as easily distracted as my mind is, I always seem to be able to focus on whomever I’m trying to not think about, and it drives me insane. Every idle moment for my brain in my life seems to encompass thinking about those things which I don’t want to think about. Quite honestly, it’s pissing me off. It’s like my own personal hell, beating myself (mentally) over and over and over again with these thoughts of an “it” or a “her” (it’s usually a her, I’m weak like that).

She. She I can’t seem to get off my mind. Of course, it appears I only have one course of action that I can take since nothing else has worked, or so I’m told. The “advice” I keep getting is to talk to her. Yeah, ok, that’s easier said than done. Trust me, I know, I dole out that advice all the time, and not too many people are good at stepping off that ledge and putting themselves in harms way. And I’m one of those people. So, when you tell me to talk to her, cause, I’ll regret it if I don’t and let it all slip away, I’m well aware of that. It’s old news to me, and I don’t need to be reminded of the probably futures of my inactions/actions.

She is the one that drives me completely nuts. For as long as I’ve been friends with her, she’s made me crazy. And not in the bad way. I’ve never been so completely frustrated by someone so often and so easily. And that’s a good thing. Believe it or not, that’s why I love that girl, as one of the closest friends I’ve had, if not THE closest friend, and as…well…

So, what the hell is the problem? Well, basically, shit turned dumbed, and I’ve gone retard on her….twice…in about 5 or 6 months. What the hell do I mean by that? Ever just say some really, really stupid shit that’s not too kind? Yeah, that’s just the tip of the iceberg with me. Why would I be such an asshole, especially considering how I think of her, do you ask? Honestly, I’m not too sure. Part of it is I haven’t been myself for over a year. Part of it is just frustrations reaching, and subsequently passing, the boiling point. Part of it is some other shit, plus other other shit that I can’t identify. Anything from cosmic dust in my brain to just plain ol’ brain damage. Quite honestly, that’s what makes it even worse. It’s primarily me.

Of course, here’s the part where I get stupid and rant and make things potentially worse:

Fuck you.

You are not one to be lecturing me on what a friend does and does not do. Yeah, I said some very terrible things and to make it worse, I didn’t even say to your face. For that, I’ve been struggling to decide if I could ever forgive myself. But, you haven’t been too much better when it came to me, so don’t go telling me what’s what. That’s not fair. Yeah, friends don’t say horrible things to and about other friends. But, friends also don’t avoid seeing a friend who wants to see you for a good-bye since they’re going away for 4-5 months, and possibly longer. Friends don’t blatantly ignore and avoid even speaking to a friend with no explanation whatsoever, especially when it appears to be “special” treatment for that one friend. Those two things alone are quite possibly the worst things you could ever do to me. If you wanted to hurt me, that’s what you do, and I can’t even think of anything else you can do to me that feel worse (other than the whole Punisher thing). Just one of those by themselves would be enough for me to say “fuck it, I’m done.” And friends aren’t also too busy for one friend, but not the others. I’ve been guilty of that, myself, and I’ve tried to make it up to those I’ve done it to.

So, yeah, fuck you for acting like you’re the angel in all of this. Like I said, you’re 100% in the right for being as upset with me as you are, but you have no right to act like you’re 100% innocent.

Ok, there’s my rant which could only make things worse. So, why am I then writing it and then publishing it for all to see? Well, it’s because I have a very bad feeling about all of this, like things won’t get worked out. At least, they won’t get worked out in time. Not only am I a pessimist right now, this just happens to be a pattern in my life with people. Whether I’m the one who’s been the bad person, or not, it always seems to end up the same way…in the end. Because, if I can manage to graduate in December, I’ll probably end up living in Florida for a while, then moving up to Massachusetts/the New England region, at that point effectively destroying all hope that I have within me.

I’m tired of the fighting, quite honestly. It may seem like that I enjoy getting into these conflicts with someone I care about, but I really, really hate it. Don’t get me wrong, I’d be so unbelievably happy if things get talked out and worked out with her in the very near future, because it’s never a good day to lose a friend. But, I don’t know…it’s a long, steep, slippery slope, and I can’t be the first one to say something in all this, directly that is.

So, until that day, how do you get someone like her out of your mind? Every freaking moment I’m at work and I take a second (or I’m stuck at the register) to just let my mind wander, I think of her or some good time or conversation with her. Every time I try and study or do some work for one of my online classes, she’s in my mind. Every night while falling asleep, she’s there. Every morning I wake up, she’s there with those memories. It’s like that song, with the lyrics that go: Everywhere it seems like there’s a memory/Sometimes memories kill me That’s me, right there, and it’s driving me crazy because I can’t, and I won’t, give up…too damned stubborn…