Ideas on how to get someone off your mind

Well, I’m finally bored enough to give you people who are interested a few ideas as to how to get someone off your mind. That is, if you want someone off of your mind for one reason or another. Let me warn you, these work for me, I have no clue if they’ll work for anyone else, and even then, it isn’t a “cure.” I’ll tell you straight up what the best cure is, other than throwing yourself in front of a bus:

1) Talk to the person. It doesn’t matter who they are, try and talk to them. If it’s a friend or a lover or someone else, talk to them and sort things out. Throw yourself at their feet if you have to, just talk things out to try and get things straightened out. Probably one of the harder things to do in life is to face your fears, and I count this kind of situation as a fear. I for one tend to enjoy burying my head in the sand and hope the problem goes away. I rarely actually go out of my way to try and work things out, get the animosity out, etc. This is one of those “practice what I preach, not what I do” situations. Although, tomorrow, I’m breaking the habit. I plan on doing this whole “I need to talk to you” and see where it goes. Because, talk my word for it, avoiding things just is not healthy in the long run. It may be difficult to say what’s been on your mind, it may not, but sometimes, just letting it all out (within reason) to that person is just what the head shrinker ordered. That it’s good to let the other person do the same, just so you both know where you both stand.

(I should tell you that from here on out, the “numbering” system really has no relevance other than to make a list. No particular order or significance from here-on-out. That and these are the “head burying” things I was talking about.)

2) Distract yourself. Keeping your mind off the thing that bothers you the most is a great way to avoid things. Again, not necessarily the right way to go, but it’ll keep you sane for a short period of time. I really only suggest it if there is no hope of any kind of reconciliation and you just need to move on (basically the same thing with the rest of these suggestions). Anything from work to video games to sports can help you focus on something else so you’re not sitting on your couch all depressed watching Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns (purely hypothetical, of course) while getting drunk on cheap beer. For the past couple of months or so I’ve found that work has provided plenty of opportunities to keep my mind off of things (except for certain situations where I’m basically just sitting on my ass for a few hours). So, yeah, distractions work wonders for a period of time.

3) Get social. Kind of like distracting yourself, I suppose, but it’s a lot more fun AND it’s kind of like a big “fuck you!” to that special someone you’re trying to forget…especially if you’re doing things with people that other person knows/is friends with. Well, if feels like that, anyway. Nothing helps heal emotional and psychological wounds like hanging out with your friends. Laughter is truly the best medicine in these sorts of cases, so go out and have a good time. It’s like saying “My world doesn’t revolve around you.” Socializing really does help brighten your outlook, makes you realize there is more to life than that one person and it gives you a chance to meet new people.

4) Talk about it. Again, trust me, bottling things up inside, pretending nothing is wrong, etc is just plain stupid. You’ll crack, you’ll break and then you’ll be on some couch talking about it for months which leads to how often your mother breast fed you when you were an infant. Nothing pretty. Not only does it help get things off your chest, you’ll gain new insights and perspectives on your situation and you may approach things differently in this one case or in future cases. Hell, you never know, your sob story and your depression may make its way to the ears of the person you’re trying to get off your mind. You never know how this crazy world can work. You think it’s going to throw you a fastball, but instead, you get a slider down-and-away.

5) Remove the reminders of them. Chances are, if you’re trying to get someone off your mind, that person means something to you. I mean really means something to you. And if that’s the case, you have plenty around you that will remind you of them. Pictures, letters, trinkets, movies, whatever. Might be a good idea to put those sorts of things away for a while. Of course, this whole idea might be a bad idea, because, at some point, you’ll probably end up being hypersensitive to the things that remind you of them. Who knows. One definite good idea: if you have some kind of IM program and you got them on your buddy list, take them off for a while. Block ‘em if you have to. You don’t want to go getting drunk and then trying to talk to that person. Being drunk and trying to right wrongs just never mixes. Ends up making things worse.

Short list, I know, but it’s all I got right now. I retain the right to edit and add more in the future and anyone else interested can do the same if they wish. As I said, none of these suggestions are perfect, they may not even work. You may even need to use them in conjunction with others, who knows.