A Woman’s Response To 15 Things Men Don’t Want to Hear

After posting this, my girlfriend figured that the other side should be heard from and wrote her own comments on 10 of the 15 things no man wants to hear from any woman and sent them to me to post for your reading pleasure.

So, here it is, by Brittany Bagdanov: a woman’s response to my [choice] top 10 things no man wants to hear from a woman.

1. The word ‘Fine’ as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the female vocabulary.

• *This one word strikes fear into my heart. Hell, it’s safe to say it strikes fear into EVERY man’s heart. We don’t know what it might mean, especially when it comes with that tone of voice that makes it sound like it could mean anything. Please, just don’t do it!*

• A woman’s response: The fact that you are assuming that only women say this to men is completely unfair. It is simply human nature to say things such as “fine” or “whatever” when we don’t get the things we want. The fact is, every man, woman, and child has said this before, and it strikes fear into any heart that is receiving this message.

2. The phrase ‘I’d say it’s bang-on average, if not slightly bigger’. Best to steer clear of the size issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding and hurt.

• *You all can be sensitive about your overall size (from waist to breast to weight). Us men couldn’t care less what you say about our size, except in this one case. Please, don’t be cruel, we already have enough social pressures to deal with*

• A woman’s response: I’m in complete agreement with you guys on this one.

3. The sound of weeping. It destroys us.

• *This easily could’ve been number 1 or 2 on my list. It’s safe to say these first 3 are pretty interchangeable for me. Anyway, crying is like Kryptonite to me. I feel like powerless, like a deer in headlights.*

• A woman’s response: Hmmm. The only piece of advice I have for you men is to not let her have a one-person conversation. This only makes her feel worse. If you don’t say anything, how are we supposed to feel better about the issue? Say SOMETHING for God’s sake!

4. The words ‘Am I special? Am I?’ Especially if you are drawing a circle around our nipple with your finger at the time.

• *Pure torture. Plain and simple.*

• A woman’s response: Ok, if your woman is asking you this question, then you are not doing a good job of letting her know that she is special. Us women have self-esteem issues, and you men are well aware of it. Your woman needs to hear these things from you so that she knows you love her now as much as you loved her the day you fell for her; and that she is just as beautiful.

5. The accusing phrase, ‘What’s wrong with the blue dress, then?’ after we have said we like the red one.

• *It’s like a twisted game show with you women. Nothing short of a trap you’ve intentionally set us up for. No answer is the right answer and there is no way we can win this game. Some of us are actually dumb enough to try and save the situation by attempting to explain why we like the red dress more than the blue dress. It’s just sheer misery in the end.*

• A woman’s response: I feel for you men on this one. If your woman is saying things like this to you a lot, then she is WAY too high maintenance. She should be thankful you are even with her because it takes a man with guts to go shopping with his woman. A second opinion is always helpful, guys.
• On another note, do not say that we look good in anything, because we all know that this is untrue. When you say this to your woman, it simply means you don’t care and that you’d rather be doing something else like watching TV. Although it may not matter to you, it matters to your woman. Saying things like this puts you guys onto thin ice.

6. Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex was a violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. And scared.

• *Honestly, for me, it really depends on the person and/or the situation. I REALLY don’t want to hear it if the guy was a great guy. It makes us feel small, insecure, and disposable.*

• A woman’s response: True enough. A woman should not be telling you stories about her ex. She should be concentrating on the wonderful relationship she has with you instead of what happened in the past. However, I don’t see a problem with a woman letting her man know that he is way better than what she had before.

7. Stories about other men patronizing you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffle your hair and say in a kids-TV voice, ‘Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?’ I know, sometimes we’re asking for trouble.

• *There’s no reason to start trouble, now is there?*

• A woman’s response: Aw man, this is your woman we’re talking about! Stand up for her. Don’t bring her down!

8. Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually.

• *It speaks for itself. It also sets us up to say something that you’ll take offense to and get all pissy with us about. Is there any reason why you would want to do that?*

• A woman’s response: Again, if a woman is always saying things about her diet and exercise, you are not letting her know that her body is beautiful to you. Help her to understand that curvy and sane is better than mad and thin. If there is something you don’t like about her, be encouraging, not rude. Make it fun, not miserable.

9. Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless round of hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls’ friendships mystifies us. If she’s that much trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile.

• *Men don’t understand women and their relationships with other women. Women seem destined to not get along with other women. I don’t know why. Could it be due to some primitive/sub-conscious feeling of competition? I don’t know. I don’t think anyone knows, to tell you the truth. What I DO know is that drama between women seems to be as certain as the sun rising in the East and setting in the West.*

• A woman’s response: I hate drama between women as well, and this is why I try to limit my girl friends to only a few. But here is a possible explanation that may help you men to understand: Women are ruthless sometimes, and they will go wherever they have to in order to justify that they are in the right and the other person is in the wrong. Her man happens to be the closest one to her, so naturally this is where she will go first. Sorry guys, its just one of those things where you have to either say what she wants to hear – that she is right, or tell her that you shouldn’t get involved in issues that have nothing to do with you (nicely, of course).

10. Anyone else’s name, in your sleep.

• *Logically, this makes no sense. It could mean anything. It could be random. But, it could be something. Women react the same way. That’s just how it is.*

• A woman’s response: Oh, like you men are completely innocent on this issue…

Faith vs. Obligation/Doctor vs. Patient

I started reading an article (shocking, isn’t it?) I had found while browsing the news at MSNBC.com about some doctor’s refusing care to their patients because of moral and religious conflicts of interest.  It touches on the issue of what a patient wants versus their doctor’s (religious) beliefs, noting that this issue isn’t just pharmacists refusing to give out the morning after pill to women: it’s also doctors refusing to write prescriptions for that pill as well as refusing to write a prescription for birth control, referring women to abortion clinics, infertility clinics refusing to help lesbians, and so on.

I can understand people and their desire to follow their faith.  That’s great, I’m glad they can find comfort in religion and that they can actually follow the teachings of their religion (at least the few who actually do these days).  This is the land of the free and you shouldn’t necessarily have to be go home at the end of your work day with a heavy conscience because you helped someone do something you find to be immoral.

My issue is when these doctors take it to the next step and completely refuse the patient any sort of help to get that treatment they want/need.  The article starts off with a rape victim’s story where when she asked the doctor at the hospital who was performing the rape kit for the morning after pill and he refused it, stating it was against his religion.  Fine, but he never offered to get the poor woman another doctor who could help her in getting the pill.

Being raped is bad enough (I can only assume, thankfully), but then being told flat out you’re going to have to live with the possibility of getting pregnant from the rape is even worse.  To force someone to have to deal with that added anxiety is just reprehensible and, if anything, is probably something your religion (in it’s un-tainted form) would undoubtedly frown upon.

The statistical numbers on this are somewhat staggering, if not depressing.  According to The New England Journal of Medicine, “63 percent of doctors said it is acceptable to tell patients they have moral objections to treatments” where 18 percent of doctors felt they had no obligation to their patients to refer them to another doctor.

Then you have doctors caught up in the policies of the facilities they work at.  When a hospital has a policy of no abortions unless there is an immediate threat to the mother’s life, what is a doctor supposed to do?  Sure, they can try to refer their patient to another facility, but in many areas of the country you may have to drive 100 miles to get to the nearest facility that performs abortions.

Even *simple* procedures such as tube-tying can be met with hesitancy and outright refusal of service due to some people’s religious and moral views.  Those would be the people who find birth control of any form to be immoral (waste of seed and whatnot).

Unfortunately, we find ourselves in a world where patients have fewer and fewer rights and where the bottom line is more important than our personal health and the overall health of society.  As I’ve said, a doctor shouldn’t necessarily refuse care to a patient if they believe that particular care is against their religious beliefs (tho, I can think of some cases where a doctor should not refuse a patient’s wishes), but that doctor needs to be ready to openly refer those patients to another doctor or facility where she can get the treatment she wants or needs.

15 Things No Man Wants To Hear From Any Woman

Just ran across this little article while taking a break from job hunting (yes, THAT again). I’ve done a little copy n’ paste action with the entire list, word-for-word, except I ranked them starting with MY least favorite (and I added some comments here-and-there).

EDIT: Here’s a response by my girlfriend to the first 10 of these in another post that you can find here.

1. The word ‘Fine’ as a stand-alone sentence. The scariest syllable in the female vocabulary.

*This one word strikes fear into my heart. Hell, it’s safe to say it strikes fear into EVERY man’s heart. We don’t know what it might mean, especially when it comes with that tone of voice that makes it sound like it could mean anything. Please, just don’t do it!*

2. The phrase ‘I’d say it’s bang-on average, if not slightly bigger’. Best to steer clear of the size issue. Like us talking about your weight, it can only lead to misunderstanding and hurt.

*You all can be sensitive about your overall size (from waist to breast to weight). Us men couldn’t care less what you say about our size, except in this one case. Please, don’t be cruel, we already have enough social pressures to deal with*

3. The sound of weeping. It destroys us.

*This easily could’ve been number 1 or 2 on my list. It’s safe to say these first 3 are pretty interchangeable for me. Anyway, crying is like Kryptonite to me. I feel like powerless, like a deer in headlights.*

4. The words ‘Am I special? Am I?’ Especially if you are drawing a circle around our nipple with your finger at the time.

*Pure torture. Plain and simple.”

5. The accusing phrase, ‘What’s wrong with the blue dress, then?’ after we have said we like the red one.

*It’s like a twisted game show with you women. Nothing short of a trap you’ve intentionally set us up for. No answer is the right answer and there is no way we can win this game. Some of us are actually dumb enough to try and save the situation by attempting to explain why we like the red dress more than the blue dress. It’s just sheer misery in the end.*

6. Any stories about ex-boyfriends, even ones told against the poor blokes. If your ex was a violent, brainless, tattooed ex-con, this will only make us feel boring and unmanly. And scared.

*Honestly, for me, it really depends on the person and/or the situation. I REALLY don’t want to hear it if the guy was a great guy. It makes us feel small, insecure, and disposable.*

7. Stories about other men patronising you. This will give us an irresistible urge to ruffle your hair and say in a kids-TV voice, ‘Awww, did dey? Did dey do dat to oo?’ I know, sometimes we’re asking for trouble.

*There’s no reason to start trouble, now is there?*

8. Obsessive accounts of your diet and exercise regime. Men like skinny women, true. But they dislike being exposed to the borderline eating disorders and pathological obsessiveness that produce them. And curvy and sane always beats mad and thin. Eventually.

*It speaks for itself. It also sets us up to say something that you’ll take offense to and get all pissy with us about. Is there any reason why you would want to do that?*

9. Any details of strife you may be having with your female friends. The endless round of hurt and rapprochement that constitutes girls’ friendships mystifies us. If she’s that much trouble just delete her from your bloody mobile.

*Men don’t understand women and their relationships with other women. Women seem destined to not get along with other women. I don’t know why. Could it be due to some primitive/sub-conscious feeling of competition? I don’t know. I don’t think anyone knows, to tell you the truth. What I DO know is that drama between women seems to be as certain as the sun rising in the East and setting in the West.*

10. Anyone else’s name, in your sleep.

*Logically, this makes no sense. It could mean anything. It could be random. But, it could be something. Women react the same way. That’s just how it is.*

*The rest of these, I don’t really care too much, but they’re good anyways.*

11. Your dreams. Unless we’re in them. And in a good light, too. If not, save ‘em for the shrink.

12. The phrase, ‘Can you turn over, you’re snoring’. Great, that’s both of us awake.

13. Any details of your day at work. Although men can find the most basic things endlessly fascinating – the number of buttons on their shirts, farting – they will suddenly develop ADD when it comes to your professional life. Unless you are a porn actress. No, actually, even then…

14. The phrase, ‘Hang on, I’ll just reply to this text before we order’. We want first claim on your attention, woman.

15. Any information about things you thought about buying. We are perfectly happy to admire actual purchases, but yearning for those phantom shoes/dress/bag exasperates us.

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Michael Moore on ‘Sicko’ Being Downloaded: “I don’t have a problem…”

The other day, I posted about Michael Moore’s new documentary Sicko, which targets America’s terrible health care system, has been leaked and is readily available through P2P sharing sites.

Well, it looks like Moore has no problem with people downloading copies of his movie, even though it’s not even out in theaters.

Here’s a direct link to a little video on his full statement about the documentary and his feelings on piracy.

read more | digg story

It’s Like a Domino Effect

You know that expression “When it rains, it pours”? Well, that lovely little cliche applies to my week of technology woes.

First, my phone freaks out (again) right before my vacation and I thought I would be cell phoneless for quite some time. Luckily, like before, it cleared itself up and began working wonderfully (no thanks to the fat ass Cingular store manager…that’s a whole other story in itself).

Then, when I get back from my lovely little vacation to Yosemite with Brittany, I happen to notice the hotel we stayed at didn’t just charge me my half of the bill. Oh, no. They also charged me for Brittany’s half on top of what they already collected from her. So now I have to hope Wells Fargo can get it cleared up and give me my $200 back.

Of course, that same day I needed to call Wells Fargo, I cell phone REALLY flips out to the point where all I could do was take out the battery and simcard. I couldn’t even turn it off it got so bad. Luckily, it cleared itself up, yet again, so I’m definitely going to have to call Cingular customer service on this one and get a new phone.

But, wait, there’s more! The relatively new graphics card in my computer has a little fan built in to keep it cool and that fan has decided to make obscene noises when put to work. And, for some reason, whenever I unplug my computer to get inside it, it takes me forever and a day to get the graphics card to actually show graphics (let alone anything) on my monitor. Oh yes, it’s the graphics card. How do I know this? When I put my cheapy, yet reliable, $12 card in, I have no problems whatsoever….except my computer runs like shit. I just got the sucker to work 30 minutes ago…on my lunch break.

Speaking of which, it’s almost time for me to head back to work…

More pictures of vacation coming later this weekend (hopefully).