I currently have a 55 mile, one-way, commute to work: Moorpark to Santa Barbara. And I’ll be driving that commute through September (I believe). I’ve only been doing the drive for about 2 months and I’m already sick and tired of it. I can’t stand it anymore. It’s absolutely guaranteed that I get stuck in traffic on the way home if I get out of work before 7-7:30 PM and that ends up being most of the time. Heading south on the 101 freeway out of Santa Barbara is about as fun as having your balls run over by a dump truck. It’s maddeningly infuriating. The problem with people out here in California is that they can’t seem to handle freeway speeds when the freeway ceases to be flat and straight. The moment there’s any sort of curve or incline, all hell breaks lose and people slow down. Significantly during rush hour.
That’s why I wish I owned a tank. Oh, and wished there were no consequences for anything I ever did while I’m in that tank (I’m trying not to be too greedy here). My favorite part of any video game was spawning a Rhino (tank for those of you who never played the game) and rolling through the streets running over anything that got in my way in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. I was basically playing out a fantasy of mine: making traffic bow to my every whim.
Traffic out here in California is just beyond ridiculous. I’ve seen things that cannot be described to anyone who hasn’t driven through southern California. Some of you people know me…I’m a powder keg just ready to blow and I have to say the traffic nonsense I deal with at least 5 days a week has got me so close to blowing up it’s not even funny. Suffice to say, I don’t do well stuck in traffic.
If you saw a tank barreling down the freeway and coming up behind you pretty fast, wouldn’t you move out of the way? That’s the idea, to get people to move. I’m not looking to run over cars (would be fun, though). I’m not looking to fire shots into the crowd of cars ahead of me (that would definitely be fun…maybe just some warning shots now and then?). I’m just looking for a clear path so I can get home where I can kick back, relax, drink some beers and watch/listen to a ballgame. Is that too much to ask?
