I’m finishing off my 4th or 5th bottle of Jack in the past 4 weeks or so. While that’s still nowhere near my consumption level in college (I’d be lucky if a 1.75 liter bottle of Jack lasted me 4 days), it’s pretty impressive when you take into consideration that I drank less in the past year. Why do I do it? Self-medication. Does it help? Long term, no. Short term, hell yes. It definitely takes away the pain of life and everything going on around me, but it’s unhealthy as a blow to the skull (I get a lot of those too…I brained myself just the other day, now that I think about it). It certainly eases the pain of heartbreak just a wee bit. Keeps me from having the urge to drive off and never return.
The problem with alcohol, and this is the last I’m going to say about it, is that it tends to make situations worse when you’re trying to make them better. I tend to talkative, and type…ative, and say things I really shouldn’t be saying. It’s a bit of a curse.
Anyway, I’m finishing off my first week in a store tomorrow and so far, so ok. I hate change, can’t stand being pulled out of my comfort zone, but I’m dealing with it. Of course, I was moved at the worst possible time in my life, so I’m kinda not motivated to be all I can be and I’d much rather sit alone, at home, in the dark and continue to drink. Oh well, that’s what you get for being the golden child and people having high expectations of you (what’s sad/scary is that people have high expectations of me regardless of where I am and what I’m doing).
Which is why I need a vacation to get away. Badly. Which is why I’m taking a vacation. Unfortunately, it’s going to be a week later than I was hoping to take it. You know how it is, you had plans with the girl, things happen, you’re not sure if it’s over or if it’s just temporary and all you know is you’re vacation plans have been flushed down the toilet. I was aiming to try and prove myself and take her away and treat her to a few days of expensive dinners and all sorts of fun in Vegas, but time apart means time apart. Someone needs to write me memos or something that clearly spell things out in my life. So, I have to wait a week due to work issues and I’m taking off to Joshua Tree National Park where I plan on hiking myself to death.
Speaking of hiking myself to death, based on some feedback I’ve received about my vacation plans, I’ve decided to do some hiking around town/county to see what kind of shape I’m in. I did a few miles yesterday without too much difficulty (other than some…concerns) and not too much soreness the next day (being today), so I think I might be good to go. I’ll keep doing it until I’m off on vaca, so I might actually enjoy it. I wish I could take more time off so I could hit up some remote areas in the wooded parts of the state, but I’ll take what I can get. Nothing feels as good as being out in the woods. Don’t ask me why, it is what it is. Depending on what happens later this year around winter time, I might see if I can’t hit up the mountains and go on a skiing trip. Maybe even see if I can’t get back east for the holidays.
And, of course, to make matters more interesting, my phone has been acting up. I think it knows I want to do some major software updates (it’s a Blackjack II) and it’s lashing out like a child. The other day, I couldn’t send nor receive text messages. That seemed to fix itself and now it seems as if I’m having problems getting phone calls. Plus the bastard is randomly turning itself off. Maybe I shouldn’t keep dropping the thing.
So much crap, but it’s still business as usual. How sad is that? Not as sad as you poor fools who read the crap I write.
